We often hear about sneezing three times in a row means someone has a crush on us. Each society has its own set of myths or local beliefs, which, despite being irrational, are held dear by its people because they provide simple, funny, and easily understandable explanations for certain phenomena.
In Indonesia, these funny sayings are often called takhayul. Passed down from generation to generation, many Indonesians still bring up takhayul from time to time, even in more serious aspects of life, such as love and relationships.
Here are 4 absurd takhayul about romance in Indonesia – and the truth behind them – to make you giggle.
1. Don't Sit in Front of a Door
Many Indonesians have probably experienced sitting on the floor in front of their house door to enjoy the relaxing breeze just to hear a parent tell them, “don't sit in front of a door!”. Some ethnicities in Indonesia – such as the Minangkabau, and Ambonese – believe that if you sit in front of a door, you'll marry late, or perhaps even not marry at all.
The Javanese say that sitting in front of a door leads to heartbreak. This belief is portrayed through the saying, “mundhak wong sing nglamar mbalik”, which means whoever wishes to propose to you will cancel their plans and you'll stay single just because you sit in front of a door.
Some ethnicities go even further. For example, the Mamasa people in West Sulawesi – according to a study quoted in a Tirto article – believes “pemali maqloko dio baqba ke makarimanmi bongi akak dakok naruppak setang”. This means that sitting in front of doors not only hinders marriage, but also leads to spirit possession.
Whatever the takhayul says, there is certainly no link between where you sit and when you’ll say “I do”. Rationally speaking, sitting in front of doors makes it hard for the people living in said house to move around between rooms. It also comes off as impolite, especially when there are guests present.
Basically, the thing about this takhayul is that if you sit in front of doors, no suitors can come to your home – literally!
2. Girls Should Sweep the Floor Cleanly
Some Indonesian mothers tell their daughters to sweep the floor cleanly… because apparently, girls who don't sweep the floor cleanly enough will get husbands with brewok (beards).
This takhayul may bring a smile to your face because it is totally absurd. Of course, there is no correlation between how a girl cleans the house and how her future husband will look like.
In Javanese, this type of takhayul is also called gugon tuhon, something formed from years and years of generational experience. In other words, previous generations may have repeatedly experienced marrying bearded men after not sweeping their floors cleanly, and this coincidence is beileved to be true despite having no factual basis.
In reality, this saying is probably kept around to motivate girls to perform the housework diligently. This is especially true when we consider the fact that traditionally, Javanese households tended to be patriarchal and daughters were expected to take care of the house well.
The myth also probably stemmed from past beauty standards. In the past, it might have not been favorable for a man to grow a beard. This takhayul then served as a kind of “warning” for girls who did not want to get married to somebody “unattractive”.
Yet, in the present, where beards have become a fashion statement and men with beards are seen as handsome, this takhayul probably has lost its meaning!
3. Don't Sing in the Kitchen
Here comes another takhayul targeted towards women looking for a spouse. The Bugis believe that “riapemmalliangi ana' darae makkelong ri dapurangnge narekko mannasui”: singing in kitchen will cause your potential suitors to “fly away”.
The scientific fact behind this takhayul is that singing while cooking or preparing a meal may cause your saliva to spread and infect the food with potential germs. Singing and lazing around in a kitchen also causes the food to take longer to prepare.
Similar to the takhayul in number #2, perhaps this one was also born in a patriarchal setting. Young women were expected to cook – perfectly at that – and this takhayul was meant to deter them from lazing around and not fulfilling the roles expected of them.
4. And for the Javanese, Many More Rules
The Javanese are known for their intricate customs, especially when it comes to marriage. There are many complicated rules newlyweds-to-be are expected to follow before tying the knot.
The first rule is that you musn’t marry someone whose house faces yours, lest you will have a bad marriage. If the couple happen to live in houses facing each other, one of the houses should get renovated as to face the other way. Another solution would be taking in either the bride or groom to live in a relative's house which does not face their partner's.
The second rule is the firstborn child in a family should not marry the thirdborn. A similar rule states that firstborns shouldn't marry each other if one of their parents is also a firstborn in their family.
The third rule is you shouldn't marry in months that are considered unlucky. Getting married in the Muharram month of the Islamic calendar, for example, is considered a big no-no lest something bad happens to the couple or their families.
The fourth and perhaps most famous rule for Javanese marriage, though, is probably the weton, which is a special set of "fortune-telling" instructions, done by calculating whether your birthday in the Javanese calendar is compatible with your partner. Couples should only get married if their birthdays “match”. If not, the marriage may experience harsh difficulties or end up in divorce.
Weton sounds like a Javanese rendition of zodiac signs or Chinese fengshui. Of course, there is no clear link between when you are born and how comaptible you are with your soon-to-be spouse. To make things work, couples should foster mutual understanding and healthy communication, regardless of when they are born.
Though many Javanese people no longer follow weton rules, some, especially in more traditional communities, still do, even going as far as breaking off the engagement with their partners if their weton proves to be incompatible. This shows how cultural customs can lead to happiness, but also heartbreak.
References
- Fimela. “5 Mitos Larangan Pernikahan Berdasarkan Adat Jawa, Percaya Nggak Sih?” Fimela. Published on February 19, 2018. Accessed on July 16, 2025. https://www.fimela.com/lifestyle/read/3778141/5-mitos-larangan-pernikahan-berdasarkan-adat-jawa-percaya-nggak-sih.
- Indozone Admin. “Perempuan Bugis Pantang Menyanyi di Dapur, Katanya Bisa Bikin Jodoh Melayang.” Indozone. Published on July 18, 2022. Accessed on July 16, 2025. https://fadami.indozone.id/ramalan/441352987/perempuan-bugis-pantang-menyanyi-di-dapur-katanya-bisa-bikin-jodoh-melayang.
- Nancy, Yonada. “Mitos Jangan Duduk di Depan Pintu buat Anak Gadis Apa Artinya?” Tirto. Published on July 24, 2023. Accessed on July 16, 2025. https://tirto.id/mitos-jangan-duduk-di-depan-pintu-buat-anak-gadis-apa-artinya-gNir.
